I got to go to the hospital with my second Mama the other day. She had high blood pressure and so she was preparing herself for the possibility of an emergency c-section. Well the hospital has some strict rules and I am actually not allowed in with the patient except if I am the only one with her and she is in the final stage of labor and ready to deliver, which doesn't make sense for what I am actually there for.
Anyway, when I arrived at the hospital, a security guard let me go up to the waiting room where this young woman's mother was waiting. While we waited my only contact with this scared young first time mom was through phone calls and texts of encouragement ( I am thankful for cell phones). You see my client was not in labor but she was put in a labor ward with many other women who were in active labor. So as you can imagine the sight of these other women was not helpful for her blood pressure. . . when we did get a chance to talk face to face she spoke of the most horrendous things that were happening in the labor ward; mothers being hit and yelled at by the attending nurses, she herself had been hassled and repeatedly yelled at for crying.

I was starting to really get fired up about the things she was telling me when we met another young woman who had just had her baby by c-section and she showed us her baby who had a very bad cut on his head, when we asked what happened she explained that they cut the baby when they cut her!
Now here I am sitting with all these stories and experiences and I don't know exactly what to do with it??? I came home feeling so upset that the people who need help are constantly the victims in places where they should be getting help. What do I do??? What can I do? Despite the fact that I just got certified by DONA as a Doula ( yeah!!) I don't actually have any credibility in these hospitals, and I don't know anyone who does!

I listened to a song that my friends Yasmin and Ben wrote when they had studied the book of Amos it says:

"If you remain silent
If you just turn your head
If you remain silent
What can I say to those who will cry
Where is our God when our children die?

Speak through Your Word
Let us understand
Their cries must be heard by both God and man

Do not remain silent"

I cry every time I listen to that song, but it helps me remember that no matter how small, no matter how few connections I have, I must speak, speak up for those who don't have a voice and continue to listen.
Please pray for the government hospitals in South Africa, there are many issues, understaffed over worked and millions of sick people without resources just don't make for a good situation.

Some fun Keira video's

Chrissy and I have being really enjoying Keira. She is an incredible blessing to us. She is independant, smart and full of joy.
Enjoy these two vidoes.
Love us

Reality.

What is safety??? I have been wrestling with this question this week as there have been some incidents on our street. Last night I attended a street meeting where a few of our neighbors spoke of suspicious people around, attempted robberies and the like. As I asked clarifying questions, the street leader finally said, "Chrissy, I am sorry but in this country we have come to a point where we must trust no one!" My heart sank, trust no one. . . I have been told and taught that only the paranoid survive but I also feel like I don't want to waste life worrying when "it won't add a minute to your life". But the reality is that bad, scary and horrible things happen to people everyday all over the world. . .
I have to say my first reaction to hearing all the stories last night was one of fear and flight " How quickly can we move from this place?" But then after a deep breath I was moved to ideas of action, to follow up with other neighbors, prayer walk, connect with other people who are at home during the day. All good things but that nagging fear, which I am so familiar with, didn't want to let go of my heart. I came to Trev with talk of burglar bars, and panic buttons and roaming security.
Repeating scripture about how God is our shelter and how He never leaves us, was helpful to calm me down but it also made me realize the reality is that God is still that same God whether we get robbed or worse. Trusting Jesus for our safety doesn't mean that bad things won't happen. Today, in the wake of reality, my heart longs for home and familiar and seeming safety, but more than that my heart aches for a place where people feel that they must trust no one. To me, that is an isolating and lonely reality to live in.

To tell or not to tell

I have had the privledge to be part of a new young adults bible study in Zandspruit on Thursday nights. We meet every other week.
The last two weeks we have talked about the topic "To tell or not to tell." This has created some real discussion as we have wrestled with the struggles of telling the truth, for ourselves, for our friends and our communities. I think this is a challenging issue for us all, especially when telling the truth has consequences.
This is especially true in the squatter community where you can't hind in your house in the burbs, but are tightly packed together, where you see things that you don't really want to see, where telling what you did see has serious consequences.
We are growing as a new community of believers and we are starting to see the more negative consequences of not standing up for truth. Not telling the truth leaves us in the dark, it leads to communities that don't care what happens, where violence prevails. We have to start standing up for truth so that the light can prevail but we have to do it with love.

I hope that my character, along with this great group, will be changed, to be more truthful, to face the reality that if the truth does not prevail, it only leads to death and heartache in the long run.

Its not up to me

We start Zulu classes tonight! It has been one of those things that has been postponed then canceled and then restarted so we are looking forward to actually getting started in an official way. Language, as you know has been a bit of an issue. For me it especially hard to help a mother fill out an antenatal card for the clinic if we don't speak the same language, so I hope in learning Zulu it will at the least familiarize my ear to the different sounds of the other languages that come into the clinic. Speaking of the clinic, for those of you that don't know I work in the antenatal clinic that is held at the community center 2 days a week. Antenatal s the same as Prenatal, so the ladies come and get checked by a midwife and have their blood work done before they deliver at a far away hospital. The problem that has been reoccurring at this clinic is that we haven't been able to keep a steady nurse to do the blood work. Govt hospital nurses are over worked and understaffed and underpaid, so no one seems to be able to spare anyone. And it s actually very dangerous to continue with antenatal care without having blood work done, several problems could be present that the mother or the hospital would not be aware of, the scariest of which is HIV. So instead it looks like the clinic will have to close until we find someone to do blood.
Even though I get queasy at the sight of blood, I wish that I was qualified. I know that is not what I am here for but it is so awful for these moms who will have to either travel far to the hospital to get their blood workup or they will go to another clinic that is not so nice. . . or they won't go at all and end up with a baby that is infected with something. I just wish I knew more. . .on a daily basis. Or had more helpful skills, I know I have resources and education and that is more than the average Precious or Soley (common names here) but it s a challenge to feel that inadequacy and then know what to do with it. I won't be taking on anymore degrees at least not at this stage but I can pray and use what I do know to do the little that I can and ask Jesus to multiply it. So really its not me at all, people don't need me, they need Jesus the one who can supply for their every need, the one who feeds 5000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish. I am not trying to preach, just thinking out loud or. . . through my fingers I guess. It is helpful to reflect a little in these quiet moments when Keira is sleeping, thanks for listening. . .or reading I mean. Until next time,
Love Chrissy

Life in Zandspruit

Just wanted to share some pictures from the community we work in.
They show some of the everyday issues that have to be faced just dealing with basic services.

Quite different from most our lives and the hiking in the Mountains...it is really the survival of the fittest and the least getting treated the worst.

Pray with us as we try to empower this community to demand better service from the government and to see their living situation improve.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2188785&id=19712795&l=bd2d5359aa
Copy and paste above address into a new browser to view.

Peace.

Hello Change, old friend

I know that nothing in life is permanent. . . but it feels like here that reality is accentuated! I start to make a friend and then they move, I start to make another friend and then they move. I offer my services as a doula and then a woman who sounded sure she could use the help never calls. It can be really difficult at times to be so unsure of things that seem like you could be sure of.

I am very thankful to Jesus that HE is constant! In the midst of so much instability, poverty, corruption, injustice and hopelessness it is only Jesus that I can cling to to know that there is hope for the next breath! Thanks God.

News on the home front; Keira started Nursery school this week and absolutely loves it! (She is just going on Monday and Thursday when I have clinic.) She came home with a noodle bangle that she made and singing the days of the week. I was the only one who cried in the whole ordeal! Its funny that all of a sudden someone else is influencing my child! I know its good but it is strange, but Keira loves playing with the kids and I know she feels safe there because her first day she went and sat down on the carpet and said "Jesus loves me"
Apparently the church where the school is, had prayed in each of the school rooms the night before asking that each child and parent would know the love of Jesus when they walked in, well Jesus heard!!